home schooling paths
  E-journal August 30, 2011

ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT for sale on new Audiobook!I Saw the Angel in the Marble audio

You can set your children free to become the individuals God created them to be. The book I SAW THE ANGEL IN THE MARBLE will explain how. This book has been called, “the cream of the crop” of homeschooling books, “a tremendous blessing for me and my whole family,” “a wonderful book—a must read,” “the best advice for schooling and parenting,” “the 1st book that any new home school mom/dad should read, and ”a breath of fresh air.” Now the book is available as a set of 6 CDs read by one of its authors, Chris Davis, a popular speaker at homeschooling events. Chris also adds some extra material that is not in the original book. You can listen to an excerpt from the audio book at this link. ON SALE AT 25% OFF UNTIL SEPTEMBER 1, so CLICK HERE to get youraudiobook NOW!

NEW BOOK! I CARVED THE ANGEL FROM THE MARBLE is the companion book to I SAW THE ANGEL IN THE MARBLE and was compiled from articles that focus on the nuts and bolts of schooling at home and the everyday aspects of teaching and learning together. It also covers how to successfully teach the different major subjects. It is over 220 pages and takes a deeper look at the different elements that make home schooling a wonderful adventure. To order your copy: GO HERE>>

home school marketplace cupcake Blame It On the Cupcake

by Ellyn Davis

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Any mother can tell you that the child who is a little angel in the morning can easily become an out-of-control terror in the late afternoon. There is a reason for this, and it's not just too much sugar!

It's called ego depletion.

That's just a fancy term for the fact that our ability to make good decisions and control our behavior, thoughts, feelings, and impulses wears out over time. More and more research is pointing to the conclusion that we only have a limited amount of energy to navigate life, regulate emotions, make choices, and manage our behavior, thoughts, and emotions. The more we deplete that energy, the more we suffer consequences such as diminished empathy, indecision, low self esteem, susceptibility to sales tactics, and exhaustion.

Here's how it works. Say you are trying to diet. You get up in the morning and you're determined that you are going to eat only what you should, go to the gym and work out, and take a two mile walk with your friend. This is not an impossible goal for you because you've done it many times before. But this particular day the kids are fighting, the dog has had a run-in with a skunk, the washing machine gets stuck on the fill cycle, and you didn't sleep well, plus the day is peppered with interruptions and myriads of little decisions you have to make.

But you know you can handle this. No problem. You are still able to move into your day and get things done. You eat a healthy breakfast, take a walk with your friend while the kids are doing their chores, call the washing machine repairman, quarantine the dog until your husband gets home, and get the kids sorted out and started on their school for the day. So far so good.

Then a neighbor brings over a plate of cupcakes and wants to talk about her latest drama. Mmmm. Carrot cake with cream cheese icing. Your favorite. But this neighbor always outstays her welcome and you find yourself forcing a smile as you greet her, knowing her visit is going to eat into a large part of your morning.

However, the cupcakes were a nice gesture, so you thank her profusely and try to cut the conversation as short as possible.

She finally leaves and all day long those cupcakes sit on the kitchen counter. You pass them each time you come into the kitchen for something. The kids have most of them with lunch, but there is one left.

The day goes on and now it's 4 in the afternoon. You are tired. So far you've dealt with homeschooling three children, a washer that doesn't work, a dog that stinks, and multiple phone calls and interruptions. As you pass that last remaining cupcake for the 15th time, you decide to sample a little lick of the icing. Oh my gosh! That is the best cream cheese icing you've ever tasted!

You know what happens next. You decide to take a tiny bite. Then another bite. It's the Marshmallow Tests all over again. Then your rationalizing mind kicks in and tells you, "Just go ahead and eat the whole thing and the cupcakes  will all be gone and you won't be tempted anymore."

You do. And then you are angry at yourself. A few minutes later your husband walks in the door and you snap at him. He asks, "What's wrong?" But you don't even know how to answer his question. You're mad at yourself, you're mad at the washing machine, you're mad at the kids, you're mad at the neighbor who dropped off the cupcakes, and now you're mad at him.

Sounds like a serious lack of self-control, doesn't it? Actually, it's a classic case of ego-depletion.

How does ego depletion work?

When we are faced with too many decisions or too many demands for self-regulation (controlling our behavior, thoughts, feelings, and impulses) in a short period of time, our energy to make decisions or regulate ourselves is depleted. Numerous studies have shown that when you execute tasks that demand self control (like being welcoming to your neighbor when you really want to pretend you're not home or like resisting the cupcake 14 times), you are, subsequently, less able to perform other tasks that demand self control.

One study summarizes the concept this way: "Our results suggest that a broad assortment of actions make use of the same resource. Acts of self-control, responsible decision making, and active choice seem to interfere with other such acts that follow soon after. The implication is that some vital resource of the self becomes depleted by such acts of volition. To be sure, we assume that this resource is commonly replenished, although the factors that might hasten or delay the replenishment remain unknown, along with the precise nature of this resource."

In other words, exercising your self-control and decision-making power right now impairs your ability to use self-control and make responsible decisions later. Hence the vanishing cupcake and the snappiness with your husband.

What are the more likely culprits that are depleting your ego and using up your self-control? Studies show these can be most ego depleting: (Also see past newsletters on the effects of distraction.)

1. Coping with extraneous stimulation like loud noises, media overload, things going on in the background while you're trying to concentrate, etc.
2. Having a task interrupted.
3. Monotonous, tedious, time-consuming tasks.
4. Prior conditions of mental, physical, or emotional depletion such as not enough sleep, an emotional upset, previously engaging in a demanding activity, etc.

Hmmm. No wonder you ate that cupcake. And no wonder your children seem to be more out of control in the afternoon than in the morning. It's not actually rebellion or disobedience or lack of self-control, it's ego depletion.

There are serious consequences to ego depletion, including diminished altruism and empathy, lack of forgiveness, susceptibility to sales tactics, lowered self-esteem, impaired logic, losing sight of the big picture, paranoia, and exhaustion.

Let's talk about those next week. We'll also talk about how to replenish yourself and your children.

Until then....


home schooling

FREE e-book: A Strong Enough Why

Why Home School?In the twenty-plus years I’ve homeschooled, I’ve spoken with thousands of other homeschooling parents and I’ve discovered that most problems with home schooling tend to occur because parents get hung up over the HOWs of home schooling. And the reason is, they don’t have a strong enough WHY.

In Christian jargon, we might call the WHY a conviction and we could say that their home schooling efforts became a struggle because their conviction about home school ing was unclear or wavering.

Let’s be realistic. Home schooling is not for everyone. Home schooling is a massive, full-time commitment, primarily for Mom. Done well, it requires a total reorientation of your life, not just four or five hours of your day.

This e-book will help you create a strong enough WHY about home schooling to propel you through any problems of HOW. You can read it HERE.

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http://www.homeschoolmarketplace.com/images/angelbook.jpgI SAW THE ANGEL IN THE MARBLE was compiled from articles that focus on discovering who your children really are and how they learn best, creating the attitudes and environment in your home where learning and relationships can thrive; understanding the many options that are available to you when you are home schooling, and much more.

http://www.homeschoolmarketplace.com/images/Carved-Cover-small.gifI CARVED THE ANGEL FROM THE MARBLE is the companion book to I SAW THE ANGEL IN THE MARBLE and was compiled from articles that focus on the nuts and bolts of schooling at home and the everyday aspects of teaching and learning together. It is over 220 pages and takes a deeper look at the different elements that make home schooling a successful adventure in learning. Chapters cover how to recognize your “angels in the marble” and help set them free; how to get off the “hamster wheel”of activity if you feel overwhelmed and undersupported in your homeschooling efforts; how to develop your own scope and sequence of study for each child; how to teach the major subjects such as language arts, history, math and science in your homeschool; and much, much more!

In a way, these two books took over 20 years to write. So savor them. Read them (or listen) slowly and carefully. Don’t let them just take up space on your bookshelf, but let them impart helpful, practical wisdom and advice.

Turning Hearts: Davis Seminar Set (8 CDs)

home schoolingThe Best of Chris and Ellyn Davis, this set contains seminars given by Chris and Ellyn Davis of The Elijah Company at home schooling conventions. The set contains all of the favorites that home schoolers ask for over and over. People have told us this set of CDs changed their lives. Find out more about them HERE>>

Angel in the Marble/Turning Hearts Set
Order a combination of I Saw the Angel in the Marble and the Davis Seminars CDs HERE>>

Home School and Home Business

Let Your Mortgage Make You Rich.
A friend in my internet marketing group discovered this technique for paying down your mortgage incredibly quickly without making an extra payment or refinancing. Using her method, people are cutting a 30 year mortgage down to eight or nine years. It’s true; without extra payments or refinancing – you could save tens of thousands of dollars - even hundreds of thousands - on what you pay for your home. And the best part is that the book comes with a money-back guarantee. If you don't save more on your mortgage than the book costs in the first 18 months of using the techniques, you'll get your money back.
Find out more about this money-saving book NOW!

Limited Quantities
30% Off!

We have the following WRITING IN NARRATIVE books available: The Reluctant Writer, Writing Man 1 & 2, and WIN Twin. GO HERE.


Home Schooling and Home Business Resources

Building the Home School of Your Dreams is a 6 CD set taken from the From Home School To Home Business Seminar and features sessions by Chris Davis and Mary Hood. Find out more HERE>>

home schoolingFrom Home School to Home Business
(14 CD Set)

If you missed one of our From Home School to Home Business Conferences, you missed a great time.People who attended told us that it changed their lives—not only in the area of home schooling, but also in the area of creating their own sources of home income.This set is huge and filled with useful and encouraging information about how to be successful at home schooling and at home business! Find out more about this life-changing set of CDs HERE>>

Building the Business of Your Dreams (8 CD Set) We've had requests for just the business portion of the From Home School to Home Business Seminar, so have developed a set of the business CDs from that set. It contains 8 CDs and includes sessions on The Entrepreneurial Mind, Multiple Streams of Home Income, Discovering Your Ideal Life and Ideal Business (2 CDs) , Developing a Business Plan (2 CDs), and The Importance of Business Relationships. Plus, there is a very important and insightful interview on Redeeming the Marketplace. Find out about this life-changing set of CDs HERE>>

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